Bonding with Mom.

I was off work today, and I spent the afternoon with my mom. In a disturbing turn of events, we ended up talking about KY Jelly and Valtrex.

So we were watching TV, and she turns to me and says, "I saw my first condom commercial the other day on ESPN!" and then tells me about that Trojan ad where the pig turns into a guy. She was like, "You know, I guess I just thought some things were private. There's commercials now for everything, like Cialis! And why not? They have ads for Kotex all the time."

Good point.

So then she goes on about all the prescription ads she sees. "I don't need to see an ad for Valtrex! 'My partner has herpes, but I don't!'"

Oh my god. She knows about herpes?!

So then I told her about how Paris Hilton's storage shed was repossessed and there was a prescription for Valtrex in there. She was like, "I don't like her." Then she was telling me about how she was talking to my aunt about all this stuff, and how my aunt agrees with her, and that there shouldn't be ads for KY Jelly on TV. "It's not 'personal lubricant.' I know what KY Jelly is! It's the stuff the gynecologist uses when she puts in the speculum!"

I couldn't make this up.